Finding Peace Amidst Mystery and Pain

Now, let’s remind our hearts to approach God humbly and address one of the most common arguments given when God’s goodness is challenged: The Mystery Argument. Sometimes, the answer to why there is pain and suffering lies in the mystery of God’s ways. While this argument may not satisfy all scenarios, it offers insight into certain struggles.

To illustrate this, I think of my toddler son needing a medical procedure that he couldn’t understand was for his own good. Similarly, God, our heavenly Father, comprehends the bigger picture even when we cannot grasp it fully. Just as I comforted and reassured my son during his distressing time, God is always with us, providing compassion and validation. However, we often struggle to receive it. We may logically know that God is comforting and present, but we don’t always feel it. Our emotional experience, similar to that of a child, can overshadow our rational understanding. Just as imperfect parents lovingly care for their children, our heavenly Father is ready to give wonderful gifts to those who ask Him (Matthew 7:11). He sees our pain and deeply cares for our well-being, even when it may seem like He is not actively intervening.

Jesus acknowledged the limitations of his disciples’ understanding, telling them there was much more he would like to say, but they couldn’t grasp it at that moment (John 16:12). As His children, before seeking to make sense of our circumstances, it is essential to receive God’s compassion and comfort, just as we know our little ones do. Research shows that validation interrupts the unending pain cycle. By acknowledging the feelings and experiences of those going through situations they don’t understand, we can help interrupt the paralyzing pain. God is available for us to learn to receive this validation from Him as well. So, I encourage you to allow yourself to be vulnerable before God, knowing that He deeply cares about your struggles. Imagine how much more suffering a child experiences when they refuse to accept comfort from their parent because they believe it is their fault they hurt and reject the offered solace. Similarly, we often distance ourselves from God, dismissing His compassion because we think He should have prevented our pain, not realizing the bigger picture. Find solace in His promises, such as those found in Psalm 119, which provide strength, encouragement, and hope during times of affliction.

As a parent, I frequently reassured my children with promises, and I feel convicted to allow God’s assurances to settle in my own heart, just as I witnessed my words calming my little ones. The Psalmist found God’s promises to be his lifeline, even though his circumstances didn’t immediately change. I am choosing to collect promises that address specific mysteries in my life and have faith that God is already working in ways beyond my imagination to fulfill them.

Receiving comforting words from others can be challenging when we are in distress, but we can choose to engage in God’s promises by faith. He is the one who said it, and He is the one who knows how to creatively solve our problems. Though some of His promises may be hard for us to believe, surrendering our limited imagination to His superior understanding can bring peace.

We all struggle at times to accept the mystery argument. It may seem unsatisfactory, but we don’t have to apply it to every situation. Throughout this series, we will explore two more arguments. For now, let us hold onto the assurance that God cares about our pain, even when His actions seem mysterious. Comfort is often what we truly need, as understanding alone does not make our pain disappear. Before making sense of everything, let us learn to be self-compassionate and seek God’s comfort.

Please remember that timing is crucial, and in moments of active suffering, it is best to refrain from drawing theological conclusions or seeking philosophical explanations. Whether you or someone you love is going through a painful experience, focus on validation and compassionate comfort instead of explanations and answers.

If you are reading this blog, chances are you have experienced active pain. You may not have learned how to be compassionate with someone in pain or yourself when you are hurting. So, I want to speak directly to your heart with validating, compassionate statements meant to comfort your experience without offering answers or explanations. May these words bless you and have a calming effect on your nervous system. May they also equip you to speak similar words to others in pain if you haven’t known what to say.

Precious, tender heart, I understand your fear and confusion. I see that you feel/felt unsafe and needed reassurance. It’s understandable that you couldn’t see the bigger picture amidst the pain. Your thoughts, reactions, and feelings make perfect sense. If I were in your shoes, I would find it overwhelming and difficult too. Wanting the pain to go away is a natural response. You are in pain, and it’s only natural to seek relief. I apologize for the times when others have overlooked your pain and made you feel like it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry that your perspective and faith in God are being shaken, causing you to feel abandoned and alone. I understand that you’re anguished over not understanding and feeling like you can’t trust or rely on Him. It’s okay to be in this place and not feel bad for not “getting over it.” You are loved right here, in the middle of your current pain or the residual pain from the past. Sometimes, there are no words, but I validate your pain nevertheless.

Remember, this validation will gradually reduce the stress on your system. Don’t neglect this crucial step. I want to remind your triggered brain that God is here, that He will never leave you, and that you can begin seeking Him, challenging the conclusion that you are alone.

As we continue our journey towards cortisol control and inner peace, let us embrace the mystery and find solace in God’s loving presence. We acknowledge our finite minds and limited understanding. Through humility, surrender, and self-validation, we can begin to alleviate unnecessary suffering and open ourselves to God’s answers, which will make more sense as our hearts find comfort.

Stay tuned for the next installment in the Cortisol Control Series, where we will explore further strategies for finding peace and wellness.