Interpreting the Language the Heart Speaks

Finally we are getting to learn about how to recognize what our heart says to us. Some of us would settle just for hearing anything at all, because we have shut our heart voice down so completely, that we get nothing when we sit and try to listen for what our heart is saying. We were encouraged to still take time to listen, even if we don’t hear anything for weeks, even months or years. The heart was likened to a foster child who needs to learn to trust again after she is removed from the abusive situation. Except in this case we were our own abusers and the visual of earning back trust from the heart as a person, can help us be patient, compassionate and kind even when the child/heart continues to not dare say a thing for ages.

For those who do hear their heart, here are some tools we were given to learn how to interpret and understand what we hear. As we have all seen, if we follow the heart without question, we may get into trouble and far away from where we actually thought we were going. This is because apparently the heart often speaks with pictures that represent something. Following this theory, if the heart is telling me something it wants, it is going to use language of things that have met this want in the past.

Let’s say I sit here and ask my heart what it needs and I hear ‘chocolate’. Is it right to get up and go eat chocolate because that is what my heart said and I am honoring and caring for it by giving it what it asked? Hearing what the heart says is only the first step in understanding what it means. If I can remember that what the heart says, is often in form of a symbol or metaphor, then I know I have some questions to ask. Why do I want chocolate? What does chocolate represent to me? What does it alleviate? What do I feel when I get the chocolate? Since I know I am not actually hungry, it is possible that my body wants chocolate, because of a nutrient in it that my body is low on? But on a deeper level, I would guess my body wants chocolate, because it has a comforting effect on me. I quite honestly haven’t figured out yet what goes on before hand, when the desire for chocolate makes itself known. It may well be that it’s at moments when I wish I could connect with someone to share something that is bothering me. My investigations are going to get better now that I am aware of what to pay attention to.

Let me share an example Abi told us about that happened to a friend of hers. She routinely used to feel this pressure that said, “I have to have a husband”. As she investigated what a husband represented to her, she discovered that it represented safety and security to her, and she found out that she would get this pressing urge for a husband when she needed to make financial decisions in her life. She was then able to speak to her heart, that the need for decision-making help and security could be met in other ways. Not that wanting a husband is wrong, but it actually did not represent the husband, rather something she imagined he would do for her. It would certainly have been a wrong decision to get married just for that reason.

When we feel our heart is telling us it wants something we know is destructive, it is quite easy to want to shut it down immediately, because we all have moral rules. We may feel like that because we feel ashamed of what we think our heart wants. Abi shared how many people would feel that way if they started feeling attracted to another man even though they are married. This actually happened to her two times. In general we would beat ourselves up with shame for having any such inclination. By the time she had this happen to her, she was already quite a bit along on her healing journey, and she had stopped believing in shaming herself, shutting things down instead of talking about them. In one case Justin helped her investigate, and in the other case a friend. She was led to ask what each of these guys represented for her. That is when she found out in one case it was that the guy was emotionally even keel, and this was during a time when she felt unsafe with Justin’s emotional outbursts. When she discovered her heart was telling her she was looking for emotional stability, because she felt unsafe in the current situation emotionally, she was then able to take things in a healthy direction by seeking out counseling for them to sort out that issue. If she had not investigated this, if she had shamed her upfront emotion instead of figured out what the needs were that this represented, things would have likely blown up eventually. If she had followed her heart without investigation, she would have also ended up in a mess. This is a really good example to show how important it is that we start listening to the heart, neither stuffing it nor letting it go uninvestigated.

Have you ever had odd desires and you have shut them down, assuming it was bad and wrong, because you did not know to investigate what that desire might actually represent? This concept is so completely new to me I don’t have good examples to share yet. But looking back to find instances where something popped in my mind and I shut it down without investigating, is a place I am going to start. Obviously I am also going to pay close attention to any current thoughts and desires, now that I have a frame of reference for this. If you find any instances in the past, did you push the desire down and shame it, or did you follow it? What was the outcome? Can you identify what the real need was?

I had an odd dream I didn’t know what to do with until it occurred to me that I might try investigating it like we were taught to do with a heart voice desire. The dream and the meaning are kind of tricky to explain, but as I did my best interpreting what I think my heart might have been saying, my next step was to validate my heart. I am not sure if you get dreams, and if you do, how you interpret them. I have been using a simple template to explore it with Holy Spirit in a journaling time. I think having this additional tool of interpreting how the heart might speak will be helpful going forward in terms of dream interpretation sometimes too. 

Become aware of the need behind the representation of the heart language, acknowledge the need and have compassion on yourself for that need. There is always a real, honest desire or need at the core of every heart want. Some universal ones you will likely discover are to be seen, to be heard, to be loved, to be powerful, to be understood, to belong, to be protected, to have intimacy and connection.

In our investigation, we need to ask ourselves, “How do I get the need met without being destructive?” It is important to be fully clear on this one thing: that our heart voice will never compromise worth, value, and love. If we think that is what our heart is saying, it is because we have neglected and misunderstood our heart. Our heart helps us on the journey to uncover needs. But if people just follow their heart voice without investigating, interpreting, and understanding it, they will likely find themselves trying to meet the need in a way that is unhealthy and will end up hurting them and others. As we investigate and find non destructive, healthy ways to meet the need, we may sometimes need others to help us find healthy ways. Let’s not be afraid to be vulnerable and ask for help.

Happy investigating!