Welcome back to another installment of our journey towards mastering emotional stress relief. If you’ve found yourself navigating these concepts and techniques feeling a bit like you’re learning to tackle the intricacies of installing a car seat, well, take a deep breath and know you’re in great company. We’re all on this learning curve together, and let me assure you, you’re going to get good at this as long as you keep practicing!
Think back to that moment when you were about to become a parent (or imagine this with me) – installing that car seat became a mission of paramount importance, right? The stakes felt sky-high, and the fear of getting it wrong was real. I mean, did every little click and snap fall into place the way it should? And just when you thought you had it mastered, enter the new baby phase, and suddenly you’re second-guessing if the straps are too snug or a tad too loose. Fast forward a bit, and now you’re wrangling a toddler, a tiny master of escape tactics, as they twist and turn to defy being safely secured.
If you’ve tried the emotional equivalent of buckling your emotional inner self into that car seat this week and found it to be a bit of a tug-of-war, well, let me be the first to say, I totally get it! It can feel like quite the battle. But hang in there. Just as a parent who’s successfully navigated the car seat phase and watched their children graduate from it, I’m here to tell you that this journey you’re on – it won’t always be as tricky or as awkward as it may seem right now. The bumps in the road are part of the process, and they’re leading you to a smoother ride ahead.
Remember our chat from the previous post? We were all about carving out that needed space for our emotions, even when we thought we had the perfect solutions ready to go. It’s like giving your feelings their own cozy corner in your heart’s home. Have you ever witnessed a little kid who’s taken a tumble on the playground? I bet you have – it’s like a rite of passage, isn’t it? You swoop in, clean up the scrape, and lend your comforting touch. But what comes next?
Imagine this: your tiny tot, fresh from a not-so-graceful encounter with the playground gravel. You cradle them, acknowledging their pain and the whole scary scenario. It’s the first-aid spiel you have prepared for. But what’s your next step? You probably won’t pack up and call it a day. You gently guide their attention elsewhere – not because you’re downplaying their discomfort. It’s more like saying, “Hey, look, life is still full of awesome things even when we’ve had a bit of a rough patch.” You help them shift their focus away from the tumble and back to the swings, the slides, the sheer wonder of the playground universe. And, let’s be real, you might toss in a snack or go find that puppy to pet too.
I’ve found this diversion trick isn’t just for the playground – it’s really helpful for handling my own emotional rollercoasters. Just like you’d guide a little one’s attention to the brighter side of the playground, I’ve learned to gently steer my focus away from emotional discomfort. It’s not about ignoring what’s going on inside; it’s about expanding our view to embrace both the thorny patches and the sunnier spots.
Think of it as an emotional remix, if you will. Sure, there might be a bum note or two, but you have the power to change the tune. Just like with the toddler, we’re not brushing off the scrape – we’re giving it the attention it needs while also reminding ourselves that the playground of life is vast and full of delightful surprises.
Let’s take a moment to explore this. Just like you’d divert a toddler’s attention from that scraped knee, we can nudge our emotions away from dwelling only on the gloomy side. Picture it as a treasure hunt: I’m about to send you on a mission to uncover as many red items in the room as possible. Set a timer for 30 seconds and let your eyes wander around the room, scanning for all those vibrant reds or even just a hint of crimson. You probably even noticed some red tones on your screen, right? Got your red count? I managed to spot 16. Now, without glancing around, tell me how many blue items you managed to mentally collect. I’ll admit, I only remembered a couple. Now, brace yourself for the reveal – take a good look around now, and you’ll likely spot a lot of blue! I found a whopping 21 blue things!
What’s the point of this little game? It’s not just about colors; it’s about our attention. When we actively search for something, our world suddenly seems to be bursting with it. It’s like magic glasses that reveal a whole new perspective. Our emotions work in a similar way. When your focus is locked onto a mission, like finding all those red things, does that mean the blue items cease to exist? Of course not! Similarly, when you shifted gears to blue, the reds didn’t vanish either. The bottom line: we find what we’re looking for. So, next time you’re grappling with a not-so-sunny feeling, remember this experiment. Steering your focus towards the positive is like painting your emotional landscape with more than one color. It’s about reclaiming the power to choose where you shine your spotlight.
Now, picture our toddler again, the one with the scraped knee. After that little mishap, their radar might be stuck on potential stumbles or band-aid nuisances. But does that turn the entire playground into a danger zone? Not a chance. Our job, as responsible grown-ups, is to guide their gaze beyond the scrape. We help them realize that life is a mixed bag – even when one thing doesn’t go as planned, there’s a world of good still present. In doing so, we teach them that multiple truths can coexist and that the sunny side of things deserves attention too. This balancing act not only eases their worries but also reduces the spotlight on what could go wrong.
Think about those brave kids facing dreaded shots at the doctor’s office. What do savvy doctors do? They whip out the distraction playbook – a cartoon, a toy, a friendly chat – and you know what? Those kids often leave feeling like it wasn’t all that bad. Why does this work? Well, when we’re caught up in something pleasant or engaging, our tension eases. We’re not bracing for the worst, so our mental gates open, welcoming the good. It’s like feeding your body nutritious bites to counterbalance the not-so-healthy ones – your system gets a helping hand in managing challenges. Our brain is quite the expert at honing in on what we seek. We can harness this knack for emotional well-being.
The Bible’s been saying this all along. “Grateful in all circumstances” – a phrase that once felt a bit stiff to me. But now, with this newfound perspective, it’s like a gentle reminder. We’re not being ordered to ignore our struggles, but rather to acknowledge them and then seek out the bright spots, the things that are still going well. So, let’s embark on a treasure hunt for the good in our emotional landscape after we’ve identified and attended to our emotional struggles. Just like those blue things waiting to be noticed, there’s a tapestry of goodness woven into your world.
When we shift our focus towards the good, we naturally relax. It’s like the tension eases up, and our bodies slip into the “rest and digest” mode. This helps our nervous systems settle, allowing us to assign less negative and lasting meaning to our initial emotions. It will also prepare us to do the deeper work that may sometimes be necessary to investigate the root causes of why we triggered.
Let’s talk about applying this to our personal situations. It’s all about finding what tickles your joy and nudges your mood in a better direction. It can be tailored just for you. For me, it might be a furry friend’s warm snuggles. Those soulful eyes, that wagging tail – instant mood-lifter. Even when I’m holding onto a grudge, their antics have this uncanny knack for cracking my stubborn facade.
So, what’s your go-to trick? Maybe it’s your favorite praise songs, or stepping outside and soaking in nature. Even a cozy treat can work wonders – indulging in a bit of sweetness as a little rebellion against a tough day. It’s all about finding your groove, your personal switch that flips your emotions from “ugh” to “ahh.” Find your secret allies, gently pulling you back to a lighter space.
Some of us are list-lovers, and those gratitude lists are like a warm cup of cocoa for your soul, a structured way to count your blessings. But if the idea of lists feels like a chore to you, no worries. There’s a treasure trove of alternatives. A cozy garden, a season’s scents enveloping you, the beauty of a delicate flower. Or maybe it’s an impromptu playdate with your furry confidant, sharing secrets only your pet could understand. A quick stroll getting your heart pumping. A few minutes in a good book. Maybe a trip through a photo album. Listening to the birds singing.
Here’s your mission: craft your own arsenal of soul-soothing tricks. Think of it like a playful scavenger hunt for your happiness, a get-to-know-you-again adventure. The more you explore, the better you’ll understand what flips your emotional switch. Find that one thing, or maybe a few things, that nudge your mood back to center.
Now, let’s get real though – some emotions are tougher to handle than a scraped knee, right? I’m not here to paint an unrealistic picture of ease. Dealing with those bigger, heavier feelings will take time, effort, and some serious emotional first aid. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.
When life throws those heavyweight punches, it might feel like you’re diving into emotional triage. It’s going to require extra rounds of validation, more time soothing the wounds, and the search for the glimmers of good still shining in your world will take more intention and effort. The more you flex your resilience muscles on the “smaller” stuff, the stronger you become. It’s like a training ground for emotional Olympics.
Books have been written about champions of resilience – those who’ve faced gut-wrenching hardships and still find a way to dance in the rain. They’re inspiring, and learning from them just makes sense. Now, diversion isn’t their only superpower, but it’s one we’re starting to master. It’s like a tool in our emotional toolbox, a skill we can sharpen over time.
Now, I’ve got a challenge for you – let’s embark on a treasure hunt for the good stuff, the everyday gems we often overlook. I remember that time someone raved about being thankful while making morning coffee. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a bit, thinking, “Really, over coffee?” But then, I took a moment to ponder that I have a window in my kitchen. What would it be like without one? I glanced out the window. You know what I saw? A tiny, adorable bunny, chilling by the fence. Blink, and I would have missed it. Lesson learned – don’t underestimate the power of finding wonder in the mundane. This can go in the tool box and I can pull it up and remember it fondly when I need a boost.
Open your eyes to the everyday enchantments that usually slip under the radar. Maybe it’s the whisper of a breeze, the hint of a smile from a stranger, or the gentle rhythm of your own breath. Whatever it is, embrace it, savor it, and tuck it away in your heart. These little moments of goodness, they’ll be vitamins for your soul.
Now, I’ve got a challenge for you – let’s embark on a treasure hunt for the good stuff, the everyday gems we often overlook. I remember that time someone raved about being thankful while making morning coffee. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a bit, thinking, “Really, over coffee?” But then, I took a moment to ponder that I have a window in my kitchen. What would it be like without one? I glanced out the window. You know what I saw? A tiny, adorable bunny, chilling by the fence. Blink, and I would have missed it. Lesson learned – don’t underestimate the power of finding wonder in the mundane. This can go in the tool box and I can pull it up and remember it fondly when I need a boost.
Open your eyes to the everyday enchantments that usually slip under the radar. Maybe it’s the whisper of a breeze, the hint of a smile from a stranger, or the gentle rhythm of your own breath. Whatever it is, embrace it, savor it, and tuck it away in your heart. These little moments of goodness, they’ll be vitamins for your soul.
I have begun making this a practice every day. I look for joy, for the presence of God, in so many places. If we can hone this practice and have it become a habit, it will help us during those dark days! Thank you my friend!!
By the way, as I’m typing this, a hummingbird flies over to see what I’m doing!
Love this!!! So many times, I rush right by and forget to sit and see the beauty God has created. I am going to start being more intentional with my eyes and “slowing” down more.
I love that you are inspired! I am noticing all sorts of things now. It’s amazing! 💜💜